Faith and the Struggle of Thinking

When I pray, your promises feel inevitable
Simply claiming the desires of my heart
Reminds me that it’s good to dream
It affirms that you’re doing a good work in me
That you have plans for me

You teach me things about yourself
By putting the words in my mouth
I’ve prayed truths about you
That I didn’t know before I prayed them
The way you speak is mysterious but it’s clear

When I overthink, your potential becomes limited
The things that you will do
Become the things that you could do
Or might do, or haven’t done
I can imagine of all the scenarios that make your will impossible

I’m quickly reminded of my inadequacies
I’m not living into my calling
Because I’ve never been qualified for it
Because it’s not real
Maybe I spoke those promises to myself
Maybe they aren’t from you

It can be destructive, this act of thinking
But you’ve created us to be people who ponder
People who question and reason and choose
Faith lives on a separate plane from thought
But the two are not mutually exclusive
We need both, both are from you
For if we cannot choose you
If we can’t reflect on your ways
Then faith is blind and shallow

Let the two work in tandem
Let my thoughts and my reasoning increase my faith
And let my faith inform every aspect of my thinking
Create in me a faith that conquers the lies that I tell myself
And deliver me into the promises you’ve spoken

Amen


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